What have i done..........

Where am i?  Ouch that hurts?  What's going on?  Who are you? Oh my sore throat!!!   Yep i'm waking up.  I glance up at the clock and it's gone 7pm, i went into theatre just after 2pm, where has all that time gone?

Oh no, i need a pee!  Oh my god how am i going to do that, there are only male nurses around me.  Shut my eyes go back to sleep and forget about it!

I'm being woken again and this time Mark is next to me, in recovery.  What are you doing here?  There's been a problem, there isn't a mattress for me on the ward.   What!!!  I've been here since 11am and now they realise there isn't a mattress for me!!!!!!!!  Mark assures me he's sorted it.  And he did......... most of the ward heard him sorting it out so i found out the next day!

It's no good I have to pee.  Oh god a bedpan, how delightfull, but what a feeling.................... OMG it's blue.  I'm peeing blue, i'm not royalty i've not got blue blood, but i have got blue pee.  I guess this is the stuff they use for the leak test, just how much did they put into me?

About 9pm i can finally go down to the ward, a mattress has been hired so i now have a bed.  With a hop skip and a jump i have to move over to my newly hired bed.   How they expect you to do that when you've got wounds, drips and drains hanging out of you i really don't know.

I'm settled into my corner of the ward and hoping for a sleep.................WRONG!  Every hour blood pressure, temperature checks, drugs and moaning women in the other beds meant sleep was one of the last things i was going to get.

In the early hours of the morning i need to pee again, it must be all the fluids they are pumping into me.  The nurse goes off to fetch the commode, fractionally better than a bedpan, but only fractionally.   I can't believe the size of this thing when it arrives, i nearly fall into the hole in the middle.  I'm sure someone else could have sat on there with me.

The day staff arrive and i'm still bombarded with constant checks and drugs.  The  morphine is making me feel lousy so i'm trying to cope without it.  One of the nurses asks me how i'm feeling and am i pleased i had it done.  Right at that particular moment i couldn't have felt much worse........'ask me in a week' is all i could reply.

I wasn't discharged until the third day.  I was finding every sip of water painfull, like razor blades and then someone decided that i should try to swallow paracetamol tablets.  I don't think so!  The surgery itself had taken a lot longer than had been anticipated.  The band had cause problems with my stomach and it had thickened making it harder for them to create the sleeve.  Just my luck!