This is it.....

So D-Day has arrived.  Kids are off to school, bags are packed and we're heading to sunny Luton.

The arrivals lounge is a long corridor type of a room, nursing staff at one end, chairs either side and double doors near the bottom leading to treatment rooms and day surgery.  I sit with my bag by feet watching the other patients.  It's amazing how people react to different things, you have the nervous ones watching every move (that's me!!!), those taking it all in their stride sitting back and waiting and the annoying ones that have bought 3 generations of their family with them.  Why? What's the point?!

I'm called through into the treatment rooms.  I knew it was my turn everyone hesitates when they go to call out my name.  We go through the usual name, address, blood pressure, height, weight, do you know why you are here.............of course i bleeding do!  Then it's time for the oh so fashionable theatre gown and delightful tight white stockings.  The nurse fetches me a different gown saying 'i think they've got you a small one out, i'll get a bigger one'.  This is going to be one of my goals, to fit into 'normal' size gowns in hospital!!!  She fetches me what i can only describe as a 4 man tent.  I mean no offence to some of you big guys out there, i honestly don't, but this gown was huge.  Why do we have extremes tiny and won't meet in the middle or massive and go round at least twice?

On goes the dressing gown and back into the arrivals lounge.  Mark by this time is starving and sneaks off to grab a bite to eat, at least he's being considerate and not eating a bacon sandwich in front of me.  To tell you the truth i would have been to nervous to eat anything.

A theatre nurse appears at the door, no Mark!!   Where's my phone, how does it work again??  Fingers and brain are not co-ordinating by now.  'Get your arse back here, they're coming for me!!'  Just as Mark arrives back my name is called.   This is it, it's my turn.  I pick up my bag and we head to the lift, up we go to the Theatre floor.  My palms are now getting clammy and although i'm not physically shaking it won't be long.

Details are checked, bags deposited in the lockers and now sit and wait again.  I can't relax now, i just want it over.  I'm excited and terrified all in one.  My surgeon makes an appearance and goes through last minute details with me.  He's happy with the weight i have lost on my milk diet, that's a good start.  

My name is called for the final time and i head towards theatre.  Mark clings onto me, kisses me and that's when the tears start to fall for both of us.  I think he's more scared of me having this op than i am.  One last kiss, hug and I love you and he's gone.  

I lay back on the operating bed and now i do start to shake.  There are people everywhere, one at my head, one putting a drip into my hand, a nurse talking to me.  So much going on that i can't really focus on anything.  The next thing i know is there is the sensation of the anaesthetic going into my veins and i want to cry..........it hurts!!  'Breathe deeply' i'm being told.  I try to take deep breaths and feel my eyelids getting heavy.  I just want to sleep..................