A date to work too

So finally i had a date to work too.  A bit concerned that it will still be school holidays and a bit miffed to tell the truth that it wasn't sooner, but i've waited this long surely another 100+ days wouldn't hurt.  Oh and they were marked as a countdown on the calendar, not in weeks but in days and it seemed like ages to get to it.

I set myself small milestones to get to.  Away for the weekend in May (profile pic), Holiday to Spain in early July, son's birthday end of July, before i know it August will be here.  And it was!

This time i wasn't scared of telling people what i was doing, obvioulsy i wasn't going to stand on the rooftops and shout it out for the neighbourhood to hear, but this time i was being positive.  I'm not sure if having a failed band made that easier or not.

1st August arrives and it's time to start the pre-op milk diet.  Oh joy!!!!  I hate milk but i was instructed to drink 4 pints a day, 1 sugar free jelly and one bovril/oxo drink bleurrghhhh!  I won't say i didn't cheat on this diet cos i did!  I was very careful with what i cheated with though.  I knew carbs would affect the liver so i sneaked the very odd piece of chicken or my saviour on the days when i really struggled was cold ice berg lettuce.  Just to have something to crunch and chew on was devine.  Mark took control in the kitchen, made all the meals, i wasn't even allowed to participate in the shopping.  At meal times i would shut myself in a room, put the Wii on and do half an hour of Wii fit.  It's hard dong a pre-op diet but at least you know there is an end to it and it did get easier as time went on.  It took away all of my food choices.  I couldn't have food so i didn't really crave it.  I had set myself a goal of being under 19stone on my op day.  I didn't quite make it 19stone 1lb (thats 267lbs).  I got my daughter to take some photo's of me the day i started the diet so when i have lost some weight i can compare them.

I was looking forward to this, ovbiously i wasn't looking forward to having the op, any op scares me silly.  I'm such a baby when it comes to pain.  But this felt different and felt right.  The days of being stared at in the street would be gone.  The days of trying to find clothes that fit and look good on you would be gone.  The times that people make exceptions for your weight but blame other things ('no it's ok i'll get in the back seat of the car' cos they don't think you will manage it).  No more going into restaurants and sitting in the corner so people can't see you eat, even if it is a much smaller portion than your kids are having!  Not walking  past things and wondering 'will i fit through there?' And the most famous saying that we've all heard......... 'you've got such a pretty face'.......... just don't mention the rest of me!!!